Sometimes ..

Sometimes I wish it wouldn't have happened at all.

Sometimes I wish there had been nothing to jump for.

Sometimes I wish there had been no first call,

that you and I never got attracted, that we'd never fall.

It's not like I enjoy hurting you.

But I just did what I think I had to.

I'm stuck between not caring & feeling horribly guilty.

I don't know ..

XoXo,

Ni.

You Were My Friend.

Once a friend, our talks knew no end,

Now even a forward, I hesitate to send.

You preach to me, who gives you the right?
We spoke after months, and all you do is fight!

Your harsh words, they cut at me. I am but myself, how I've always been.
I don't know why you can't see ..

You asked me, I opened up to you, 

I told what was happening, real, true.
But you went and judged me for that?

Judged me for being upset?

It's not like I was sulking over some candy that I didn't get.

You didn't have to see yet another grandparent wither away right in front of you,

If you saw and did all that I did,

You too, would try and cover it with a lid.

Telling people you know what they're going through, 

Telling them what to do instead, is easy too!

All I needed was you to listen to me, to comfort me.
All I needed was for you to be a good friend, to just BE THERE for me.
Sigh.

You were my friend .. Or were you ever?

XoXo,

Ni.

Love Me All The Way.

" Stop showing 

You love me

A little at a time.

Stop saying

You care

Bit by bit.

Stop keeping

Me here

For tiny pieces of time.

Because I need 

All of you

Not piece by piece.

I love

All of you

Not just some parts of you.

So love all of me

All the way

All the time.

Or let all of me go

All at once

For good. "

by

Katrina Wendt  

She also blogs at http://vergeoflove.com.

I read this once, then read it over and over again. It's so short and simple but drives the point home so amazingly. That's the reason why I shared it over here. 

XoXo,

Ni.

Stay.

Would you stay if I ask you to?

Would you care if I tell you I love you?

Don't leave me hanging in here.

Don't leave me at all.

I need you close to me, need you near ..

Miss the train. Pull me close.

Hug me tight. Kiss my nose.

This is like a continuation to my previous poem 'Goodbye'.

XoXo,

Ni.

P.S : My main blog 'Tales of and by her' completes one year on the 1st of July. Drop by sometime :]

I'd Rather Die.

[This is a poem I'd written reading some book,I don't remember now,but yeah. Enjoy!]

You said that you had had enough, and that you couldn't stand any more drama.
Basically, any of my stuff.
I realized it quite late, that you were out there, waiting in the rain, and now I'm swept with guilt.
I'm going insane.

Tell me you're going to give me a do-over. Tell me you're going to forgive me.
Coz I'd rather die, than hear that we weren't just meant to be.

I thought you were too serious, Didn't realize I was seeing it through my extremely sheltered eyes.
Now I understand that you were just being cautious and wise.
You taught me to be responsible, while all I did was accuse you of being drab and dull.

Tell me you're going to give me a do-over. Tell me you're going to forgive me.
Coz I'd rather die, than hear that we weren't just meant to be.

And now I can't sleep, I'm brimming with self hatred and regret.
And I am afraid you're going to forget.
Please don't do that to me?
I want need you back, the old us, the old we.
So I'm sending you a letter, with my heart in.
Please look beyond the mess that is me, understand what's within.

Tell me you're going to give me a do-over. Tell me you're going to forgive me.
Coz I'd rather die, than hear that we weren't just meant to be.

Yes,I'd rather die, than hear you say this.
So come on over and prove it wrong.
Sometimes things do work out, with a magical kiss.

I'm no longer the child, that I was before.
I know you were the reason my career rose and soar.
So just tell me quick, that you forgive me.
Because I'd rather die, than hear, that we aren't meant to be, just aren't meant to be...

XoXo,

Ni.

She Must Be Something!

Get over him.. Let him go.. 

You'll heal, but slow. First, you have got to let him go.
Don't call her a bitch. She must be something,

Coz she's the one he wants to be with!

XoXo,

Ni.

I Give Up.

I've come such a long way.. And I'm giving it all up today.

They said that I wasted time crying on him.
They may be right, they may be wrong.
All I know is I'm no longer that strong,
To take heartbreak over & over again, Coz I'm already going insane.

I don't know why I suddenly feel this way,
But I just am giving it all up today.

I can't keep daydreaming all the time,
Thinking of one day when I'll call you mine.
Because I already have so many things to worry about,
Such a mess, I want to shout!

I don't know why I'm suddenly feeling this way,
But I am giving it all up today.
I'm just putting all thoughts of you and us, away.

In the start, I dreamt a lot about you.
And I kept wishing all that would come true.
But now that I know it wont,
I'm giving it all up today.

XoXo,

Ni.

Goodbye.

The tear in that eye as you say goodbye, makes me wonder why, why for you do I cry?

Those times we spent together, we spoke such a lot,
Those were the times we teased each other, we had a blast, we also fought.

We were together for such a long time, we expressed everything that we wanted to say,
Then why, why do I feel something is unsaid, today as you go your own way?

Why do I feel so much pain if you mean nothing to me? Why when you turn to walk away, I can't bear to see?
Why is it only today, that I realize how much you mean? What did I see in those eyes today, that I have never before seen?

"Please don't go!" cries my heart, but my mind puts down its foot, no. Why do you want to stop him when to his success and joy he does go?

"His happiness lies not there, but here" cries my heart, But that I realize today, today, as he decides to depart.

His train has left. Now what am I to do?
I wish he were here right now. Saying. "I want you to come too."
And then finally, all my dreams would come true.

XoXo,
Ni.

Trust

I'm sick and tired of you.
Of not knowing what you say is fabricated or true.
You have broken my trust, over and over and over again.
To you, does this all seem just some game?

I loved you with all my heart, blushed each time you looked at me,
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this outcome.
I never thought you'd leave me.

Vacation seemed a lot of fun, but all these mind games piss me off.
Feel like crawling and crying in the dark.
You've hurt me over and over and over again.
To you, does this all seem just some game?

So hard the pain stung me,
I almost refused to believe the truth,
Believed me and you were still 'us', still 'we'.

How could you turn so mean?
What happened to us? To you?
But now you're enjoying with her, while I sit here moping like a fool.

Can't say I'm truly over you, 

Coz I still dream of us, 

I still think there is some good left hidden in you.
But they all tell me, that behind those sardonic grins and masked eyes,
You're still rolling the dice!

XoXo,

Ni.