Sometimes ..

Sometimes I wish it wouldn't have happened at all.

Sometimes I wish there had been nothing to jump for.

Sometimes I wish there had been no first call,

that you and I never got attracted, that we'd never fall.

It's not like I enjoy hurting you.

But I just did what I think I had to.

I'm stuck between not caring & feeling horribly guilty.

I don't know ..

XoXo,

Ni.

You Were My Friend.

Once a friend, our talks knew no end,

Now even a forward, I hesitate to send.

You preach to me, who gives you the right?
We spoke after months, and all you do is fight!

Your harsh words, they cut at me. I am but myself, how I've always been.
I don't know why you can't see ..

You asked me, I opened up to you, 

I told what was happening, real, true.
But you went and judged me for that?

Judged me for being upset?

It's not like I was sulking over some candy that I didn't get.

You didn't have to see yet another grandparent wither away right in front of you,

If you saw and did all that I did,

You too, would try and cover it with a lid.

Telling people you know what they're going through, 

Telling them what to do instead, is easy too!

All I needed was you to listen to me, to comfort me.
All I needed was for you to be a good friend, to just BE THERE for me.
Sigh.

You were my friend .. Or were you ever?

XoXo,

Ni.