Goodbye.

The tear in that eye as you say goodbye, makes me wonder why, why for you do I cry?

Those times we spent together, we spoke such a lot,
Those were the times we teased each other, we had a blast, we also fought.

We were together for such a long time, we expressed everything that we wanted to say,
Then why, why do I feel something is unsaid, today as you go your own way?

Why do I feel so much pain if you mean nothing to me? Why when you turn to walk away, I can't bear to see?
Why is it only today, that I realize how much you mean? What did I see in those eyes today, that I have never before seen?

"Please don't go!" cries my heart, but my mind puts down its foot, no. Why do you want to stop him when to his success and joy he does go?

"His happiness lies not there, but here" cries my heart, But that I realize today, today, as he decides to depart.

His train has left. Now what am I to do?
I wish he were here right now. Saying. "I want you to come too."
And then finally, all my dreams would come true.

XoXo,
Ni.

Trust

I'm sick and tired of you.
Of not knowing what you say is fabricated or true.
You have broken my trust, over and over and over again.
To you, does this all seem just some game?

I loved you with all my heart, blushed each time you looked at me,
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this outcome.
I never thought you'd leave me.

Vacation seemed a lot of fun, but all these mind games piss me off.
Feel like crawling and crying in the dark.
You've hurt me over and over and over again.
To you, does this all seem just some game?

So hard the pain stung me,
I almost refused to believe the truth,
Believed me and you were still 'us', still 'we'.

How could you turn so mean?
What happened to us? To you?
But now you're enjoying with her, while I sit here moping like a fool.

Can't say I'm truly over you, 

Coz I still dream of us, 

I still think there is some good left hidden in you.
But they all tell me, that behind those sardonic grins and masked eyes,
You're still rolling the dice!

XoXo,

Ni.

I'm Losing You!

I'M LOSING YOU!

 

Every single time you behave this way,
You leave me with nothing to say.
Now the good memories have been reduced to just a few,
I feel like I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

I love you and I know you do, too.
Then what' got you acting the way you are?
It's like yesterday you were with me, now you've gone away someplace far.
I feel like I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

The misunderstandings, they keep piling up.
I say something, you misinterpret and take it to your heart,
Suddenly we have begun to drift apart.
I feel like I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

Do you not love me anymore? Are you starting to hate me and all that I do?
You've got me so confused, Just tell me what is going on!

I'm searching for answers, but you won't reply,
Tell me the truth. Was this whole thing a lie?
Coz I believe you, when you say you love me, I know it's true.
So why are you acting this way?
You leave me with nothing to say.
I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

XoXo,

Ni.

Infatuation ??

INFATUATION

I'm sitting by the sill,
I'm trying to get this one sum right,
I'm trying so hard but still ..

Your mesmerizing eyes, your smile,
You've got me so distracted, I almost dropped my file!

I am trying to study, but you've made it so impossible for me to concentrate.

Takes me double the time to do work, coz I'm thinking of you, staying up till late.

Boy, is this just infatuation?
I love you so much. Do you need a demonstration?
Do I have your confirmation?

Maybe you're right, but I think you're wrong.
Just so you know, you're the one who keeps me going.
The one who is helping me stay strong.

Boy, is this just infatuation?
I love you so much. Do you need a demonstration?
Do I have your confirmation?

XoXo,

Ni.

Nightmare

[I know, I know, I've been ignoring this blog baby of mine for just too long!

Since I am not really in a space of mind to put down my current feelings onto paper as poetry, I'm going to type the poems I've written in the past, I started writing in 8th grade, so it's been 5 years now. Enjoy xx]

NIGHTMARE

(Written on 30/07/2009)

Another end, the stars gleam,
I lie there exhausted, but I can't get a single dream.

I can't escape the pain, Sears through me all night.
I keep trudging on and forward, nothing specific in sight.

His grin used to make my day, made me feel at ease even when I was a screwed up case.
His face haunts me, my palms begin to sweat, fear clearly etched onto my face.

My throat is parched, sweat glistens, my fists harden, pulse quickens.

The pillows are wet each morning, are those my tears? Or sweat? I can't tell,
And I go through the whole thing again, haunted by his deep dark eyes, his strong voice, his crushing hugs,his smell ....

I must've been,umm around 14 when I wrote this. I'm happy =D

XoXo,

Ni.