She's Dying.

[This was my entry post on Darlings Of Venus (DOV). And we can repost on the weekends, so here it is! :D ]

She's tired of the lies she's heard all of them say,

She's lost, she just cannot find a way.

She's seen them all smiling when she was smiling too,

And then they spoke their mean words, turned their backs

When her life was going off the track..

She learnt the hard way, that nothing and nobody are permanent.

That sometimes life gives you a rude shock,

It calls for your tears, your pain, it drives you insane.

But now she knows who will be there for her, and who all wont.

Now she's aware of the sink holes in her life.

Her mood is down in the trash, in the bin,

She's sick of feeling that way within.

She's this close to giving in.

If you know what to do, help her.

Because she is trying, but she knows she is failing. 

She's broken on the inside, and she is dying!

Ignore the English please! :P

I'd written this when I was 13, 4 years ago. Hope you liked it?

XoXo,

Ni.

You Were My Friend.

Once a friend, our talks knew no end,

Now even a forward, I hesitate to send.

You preach to me, who gives you the right?
We spoke after months, and all you do is fight!

Your harsh words, they cut at me. I am but myself, how I've always been.
I don't know why you can't see ..

You asked me, I opened up to you, 

I told what was happening, real, true.
But you went and judged me for that?

Judged me for being upset?

It's not like I was sulking over some candy that I didn't get.

You didn't have to see yet another grandparent wither away right in front of you,

If you saw and did all that I did,

You too, would try and cover it with a lid.

Telling people you know what they're going through, 

Telling them what to do instead, is easy too!

All I needed was you to listen to me, to comfort me.
All I needed was for you to be a good friend, to just BE THERE for me.
Sigh.

You were my friend .. Or were you ever?

XoXo,

Ni.

Will You Love Me Again?

Read it. And read it again. And again.

Now tell me, will you love again?

XoXo,

Ni.

Stay.

Would you stay if I ask you to?

Would you care if I tell you I love you?

Don't leave me hanging in here.

Don't leave me at all.

I need you close to me, need you near ..

Miss the train. Pull me close.

Hug me tight. Kiss my nose.

This is like a continuation to my previous poem 'Goodbye'.

XoXo,

Ni.

P.S : My main blog 'Tales of and by her' completes one year on the 1st of July. Drop by sometime :]

I let them have their way with me..

Helpless, I let them have their way with me.. My heart bursts in pain.

My fists are clenched. Trying but I cannot stop them.

Moistening my cheeks, burning me on their way down.

Tears.

XoXo,

Ni.

Goodbye.

The tear in that eye as you say goodbye, makes me wonder why, why for you do I cry?

Those times we spent together, we spoke such a lot,
Those were the times we teased each other, we had a blast, we also fought.

We were together for such a long time, we expressed everything that we wanted to say,
Then why, why do I feel something is unsaid, today as you go your own way?

Why do I feel so much pain if you mean nothing to me? Why when you turn to walk away, I can't bear to see?
Why is it only today, that I realize how much you mean? What did I see in those eyes today, that I have never before seen?

"Please don't go!" cries my heart, but my mind puts down its foot, no. Why do you want to stop him when to his success and joy he does go?

"His happiness lies not there, but here" cries my heart, But that I realize today, today, as he decides to depart.

His train has left. Now what am I to do?
I wish he were here right now. Saying. "I want you to come too."
And then finally, all my dreams would come true.

XoXo,
Ni.

Trust

I'm sick and tired of you.
Of not knowing what you say is fabricated or true.
You have broken my trust, over and over and over again.
To you, does this all seem just some game?

I loved you with all my heart, blushed each time you looked at me,
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this outcome.
I never thought you'd leave me.

Vacation seemed a lot of fun, but all these mind games piss me off.
Feel like crawling and crying in the dark.
You've hurt me over and over and over again.
To you, does this all seem just some game?

So hard the pain stung me,
I almost refused to believe the truth,
Believed me and you were still 'us', still 'we'.

How could you turn so mean?
What happened to us? To you?
But now you're enjoying with her, while I sit here moping like a fool.

Can't say I'm truly over you, 

Coz I still dream of us, 

I still think there is some good left hidden in you.
But they all tell me, that behind those sardonic grins and masked eyes,
You're still rolling the dice!

XoXo,

Ni.

I'm Losing You!

I'M LOSING YOU!

 

Every single time you behave this way,
You leave me with nothing to say.
Now the good memories have been reduced to just a few,
I feel like I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

I love you and I know you do, too.
Then what' got you acting the way you are?
It's like yesterday you were with me, now you've gone away someplace far.
I feel like I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

The misunderstandings, they keep piling up.
I say something, you misinterpret and take it to your heart,
Suddenly we have begun to drift apart.
I feel like I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

Do you not love me anymore? Are you starting to hate me and all that I do?
You've got me so confused, Just tell me what is going on!

I'm searching for answers, but you won't reply,
Tell me the truth. Was this whole thing a lie?
Coz I believe you, when you say you love me, I know it's true.
So why are you acting this way?
You leave me with nothing to say.
I'm losing you .. And I don't want to!

XoXo,

Ni.

I am not perfect. But I never claim to be either!

I am not perfect. I never claim to be.

I am never fake. I am always me.

I know how I look, I know how I walk,

I know how sometimes I blurt out uncomfortable truths when I talk.

I know I am not always cheerful, sometimes I feel so sad,

I am not an angel, even I do stuff that's bad.

Sometimes I fail, I break down too,

Sometimes even I need you!

I am just human. I too, do fall,

Trying to climb over this huge wall.

I am confused, I don't know where I am going,

I am moody, don't know what I say,

I am a litter bitter, though I don't want to be this way.

I say things that are mean, I may come off as rude.

Some call me a drama queen, some say I am too prude.

Who are you to judge me? You don't know what I go through.

Yes,I may not be an orphan or something that bad,

But I have my problems too.

I am not perfect. But atleast I never claim to be!

XoXo,

N.